I don’t know about you but when I was pregnant I used to hate seeing pictures of glowing, healthy looking, happy pregnant women. That was definitely not me. I hated being pregnant. HATED it. But people didn’t seem to want to hear this. I’d get comments like “Oh well, it will be over soon” or “At least you’re getting a baby out of it”. Whilst they were right, that still left me feeling like I wanted to punch them in the face. And I’m pretty sure that wasn’t hormone related either… So if you’re like me and you don’t feel all the happy feels during pregnancy don’t worry. Here is a list of reasons why it’s OK to be miserable when you’re pregnant. Feel free to shove this in someone’s face next time they make you feel like this should be the best time of your life!
Once you get past a certain point you are going to feel pretty uncomfortable. Lying down, sitting down, walking (or waddling), getting up and most simple tasks will be awkward. If it’s hot you’ll be sweating like a pig. If it’s not, then you’ll probably still be sweating like a pig. You’ll have swollen ankles to contend with and probably a few painful joints or back ache.
You probably have to deal with any number of unpleasant side effects
I’m just going to list these out and if any of these apply to you then you have every right to be pissed off with pregnancy! Piles, heartburn, indigestion, headaches, painful joints, acne, dry skin, itchy skin, discharge, constipation, iron deficiency, nausea, back ache, cramps, stress incontinence, leaking boobs, weeing constantly, insomnia, stretch marks, swollen ankles/wrists, exhaustion, discharge, nosebleeds, hot flushes, faintness, sore or bleeding gums, varicose veins………. Need I say more?
You might be worried about becoming a parent
Yes, babies are wonderful and can bring you so much joy. But even if you absolutely have your shit together there can still be an element of “oh my god, what am I getting in to?”. If you’re a single parent, unhappy in your relationship, have financial worries or any other number of problems that will be complicated by becoming a parent then being pregnant may be more of a worry than a joy.
You have to go through childbirth
Yes, having a baby is wonderful but HAVING a baby, well, that can be interesting. If this is your first baby then you may, justifiably, be a little apprehensive. We’ve all heard horror stories. We’ve all watched One Born Every Minute and thought “this can’t be real?”. And we’ve all googled what labour is like. So you’ll know that there are good birth stories but also bad stories too. I know a lot of people who swear by hypno-birthing for a positive birth experience and doing these classes may help you feel relaxed about the birth. Even so, you are likely to be a little preoccupied during pregnancy with thoughts of just how your little bundle of joy will arrive into this world (if you’re really nervous then read this post on 5 things to do if you suffer from birth anxiety).
Some pregnancy hormones are very helpful (like the ones that help get baby out). Others, not so much. Especially in the first and last trimester you may well find that hormones create havoc and cause you no end of problems. Nausea, being tearful, wanting to rip peoples heads off are just some of the hormonal issues you might have. So if hormones are making you feel miserable that’s OK. It will pass.
You’re public property and have no privacy
When you get pregnant you suddenly seem to lose all right to privacy. Complete strangers will approach you and ask you whether you’re planning a natural birth. You’ll hear shop assistants tell you about their horrific birth stories. Overly friendly women will grope you in the street without asking first. Everyone will have an opinion and will think they have the right to offer it. Freely and repeatedly. You’ll most likely get seriously fed up with having to justify or explain every part of your pregnancy or birth plans. Mostly it’s well meaning but there’s no getting around the fact that it can be really intrusive too.
You’re exhausted and/or sleep deprived
In the first trimester you’ll feel like you’ve got the flu and could sleep for days on end. In the last trimester you just won’t get much sleep. So you’ll be tired, grumpy and feel like you’ll never have enough energy again. That’s enough to make anyone miserable!
Your clothes don’t fit anymore (and may never fit again…)
There’s been a big improvement in maternity clothes but it still doesn’t change the fact that you’ll have loads of clothes in your wardrobe that no longer fit. And even if you splash out of some really nice maternity stuff, it’s still maternity stuff. Plus you’ll probably opt for comfort rather than style (if you’re sensible anyway). So unless you’re one of those incredibly annoying glamorous pregnant women who can look amazing in a bin sack, you may not feel particularly great in them. I lived in leggings and t-shirts for the last trimester but whilst it was comfortable, I felt like a sack of potatoes most of the time.
You’re supposed to be loving antenatal swimming/yoga/Pilates/eating healthily
Now, I had SPD (which is incredibly painful) in my pregnancy which definitely made me really miserable. It also meant that I couldn’t exercise (or even walk far) so constantly hearing about pregnant women who still ran marathons was somewhat annoying. On top of this I developed a real fondness of full fat coke and ate my body weight (plus baby’s) in chocolate. This left me feeling like I was doing pregnancy ‘wrong’. I felt like I should be spending hours doing yoga and sipping green smoothies all day and when I didn’t, I was left with a lot of guilt I didn’t really need! I know that all this exercise malarkey and healthy eating is good for pregnant women and their babies. Sometimes though it would just be nice to be allowed to slob on the sofa for a while! We get this picture of how a happy pregnancy is a fit and healthy one but really that just makes us feel a even more guilty for curling up with Netflix and a massive bar of chocolate.
My final reason for it being OK to be miserable when you are pregnant is simply that you are pregnant. You are growing a human being. Your body is doing the most amazing thing that anyone can ever do. You are bringing life into this world. It’s the most incredible thing to go through. You are doing something that is so profound and awe-inspiring. So if you want to be fucked off with it – go right ahead!
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