I’ll admit it, some mornings when I watch my husband go off to work I’m a little jealous. He might not see it this way but it’s a break for him. He gets to go off to a magical place where no one wants him to wipe their behind, get snot off their face, give them a million snacks, break up countless fights or to never have a moments peace.
I may be exaggerating a little but that’s how it feels some times.
It’s not easy being a stay at home mum. You have constant demands on your time. You generally don’t get a chance to do anything you want. Your entire day revolves around other people whether you want it to or not.
And it’s relentless. Utterly relentless. Because no matter how tired you are or how crappy you feel you don’t get to stop. You don’t get to decide you want a quick rest or a break away from it all. You are on call, permanently.
Now I don’t mind this really. I love being a stay at home mum. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been happier. But every so often I watch my husband go and wish I had his freedom to leave.
Plus I don’t think men always appreciate this. They often seem to feel that they’re the ones missing out (and they are to some extent) so we should be happy that we’re the ones that get to stay at home with the baby and not work but I really don’t think they want to see just how much of ourselves we lose or give up in the process.
So yes I get jealous.
I’m jealous that he gets to keep his career when I’ve given up mine. I’m jealous that he gets to shut the door on screaming kids and a crying baby. And I’m jealous that he gets to walk in at the end of the day when I’ve done all the housework and got the kids ready for bed.
But that’s OK. We often want what the other one has. I’m sure that my husband gets just as jealous of the life I have as I do of his. He sees it that I get to spend time with our children, who are growing up fast. I get to live without the burden of bosses, deadlines or dealing with really annoying work colleagues. If I want I can spend the day on the sofa with the kids or take them out to the park after school.
It’s alright to want something different in life. I think it’s perfectly natural to be a little wistful about what life could be if you could only do x, y or z.
It’s also alright to be jealous. All that’s doing is letting you know that there are things in your life that you miss. So perhaps when you feel jealous think about what it is you are really wanting. What is it that your partner has that you wish you did? Is it freedom? The ability to have a break? That he’s able to work on his career? Take that knowledge and then use it to your advantage. Use it to make some changes to help you feel like you have the life you want. And perhaps when you do, you’ll find that you don’t feel jealous anymore.
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