So I was recently at a mum’s group. Only mum’s, no babies. So all of us had left little ones behind with (pause for effect…) their dads!
Now in a room of 6, 5 were worried about what they’d left behind. Doubts about whether or not dad would cope crept in. Worries about babies missing mum were all present. And just generally, a feeling of being the one who knows baby best was in the room.
Then it hit me.
If we were a group of dad’s those thoughts wouldn’t even cross their minds.
They wouldn’t doubt that they’d left the baby with someone who may or may not be able to cope.
They wouldn’t expend emotional energy worrying about what was going on.
They probably wouldn’t even give it a second thought.
They’d just relax and enjoy whatever it was they were doing.
So why is it that mum’s can’t? What stops us from being able to let go and detach the way I suspect most dad’s do? What if (shock horror) we allowed ourselves to just relax and trust that our partners have got this. That we don’t need to check up, monitor or worry that it’s all going wrong.
Perhaps, just perhaps, it would mean that we could, just for a moment, enjoy ourselves for being something other than mum.