For the last few days I’ve been watching my family closely. We’re are all coming together in a very difficult time and trying to support each other.
Now we’re not a particularly ’emotional’ family. We’re fantastic at the practical stuff but when it comes to feelings… Well, shit doesn’t even begin to cover just how rubbish we are at telling each other how we feel.
I used to think this was a big problem. That it’s emotionally ‘healthy’ to be able to express your emotions and say how you are feeling. But now I realise that expressing how you feel doesn’t just mean using words.
You see, we are all facing the death of a loved one. And the thought on my (and I suspect everybody’s) mind is – does he know how much I love him? It’s been a very long time since I told him. Very very long time. This could make me worry that he is going to die without knowing how much I do, but it doesn’t.
Because I showed him. Every time I saw him. I showed him with the cups of tea or toast I made him in the mornings. I showed him when I cooked his favourite curry just because I knew he liked it. It was there when I’d go down the road to spend the evening with him watching Star Trek and having a glass of wine. He knew it when I’d go and sit with him for a chat. When I’d hold my baby on my lap just so he could see him and make him smile.
It was there every single day. It didn’t need to be said.
And that’s the same with all of us. We show our love even when we can’t say it. It’s in the little things we do for each other. Whether that’s ringing or texting people to see how they are or spending a few hours at the hospital together so someone isn’t alone.
Yes, it’s easy to ‘show’ someone you love them by saying it but there are a lot of other ways as well. So it doesn’t matter if the words “I love you” don’t come easily or aren’t said to the people around you. All that matters is that you show them you do. Daily.
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